These shoes are not made for walking…

It would be an understatement to say that women’s fascination with shoes is one of life’s biggest mysteries. Men can’t fathom it, and even a good number of women themselves are at a loss to explain their passion for footwear. And I most willingly admit to be among the throngs of females who can stand arrested for a short lifetime in front of a shoe window display just to gaze, gape, admire, or denigrate.

But I’ve never really noticed how shoes are actually worn on real feet until recently when I began commuting to work by public transportation. The Paris subways are filled with masses of people rushing about to catch a train or standing around waiting for one. So I’ve had lots of time to observe the different choices of footwear.

Pointy tips. When you look at a normal human foot with five toes, it boggles the mind to imagine how reasonable women can willingly squeeze their tender limbs into such a hostile confinement. While it’s true that the pointed tip can exude a graceful and dainty look, it holds nothing but the promise of painfully pinched toes, especially for women with wider feet.

Vertiginous heels. They clack, clack, clack past other commuters at a marathoner’s speed and fly down escalators and stairways as if a bunch of hoodlums were at their heels — all in the hope of jumping into the metro car before the whistle of closing doors, sometimes at a risk of breaking a neck or a limb. It has been famously quoted that Ginger Rogers can do everything Fred Astaire does but in high heels and backwards. You would think the female condition has improved since then, but it hasn’t. Women — even tall ones — wear high heels with a dress or skirt to lengthen their calves hence giving the illusion of longer legs. Yes, high heels are sexy; but they’re not rational in these circumstances.

Flat shoes. These came into greater popularity in France when the statuesque Carla Bruni wed the dimunitive French President Nicolas Sarkozy; she wears nothing higher than kitten heels when standing next to her husband’s stacked soles. At first glance, these flat shoes could be labeled “sensible” and can look quite nice with slim pants and a short jacket. But some of these “ballerina” styles can have such paper thin soles that give minimal support to your back, and your feet take a veritable beating when pounding the sidewalk. You can expect sore feet, as well as an aching back at the end of the day.

Uggs and Ugg-like imitations. Originating from Australia, these warm sheep skin boots are heaven sent to wear in cold weather. They are large and generous and protective and non-judgmental. The drawback is that they are so darn…Ugg-ly.

Hiking boots and training shoes. Mostly worn by hikers and tourists, they wander about at a leisurely and hesitant pace through the subway, holding up harried commuters, looking lost in the maze of fancier looking footwear, no doubt because their wearers are lost themselves.

Boots. These can come in either the high-heeled or flat version. Riding boots (whether or not you ride) with firm soles can be amazingly comfortable and chic while keeping your feet and legs warm in winter. Kookai and Bocage make leather boots in a wide range of styles from the biker to the dominatrix at affordable prices, all the better to vary your outfits.

Shoes as art. These “beautiful people” shoes by Manolo Blahnik, Christian Louboutin, Pierre Hardy, Salvatore Ferragamo, Louis Vuitton, Hermes et al. do not take public transportation. They either glide along the 20 feet of red carpet or lounge around on a bar stool while their wearers swill martinis and make small talk.

And what do men think of women’s shoes? Chances are, not much. I imagine if they were questioned about women’s shoes, they would no doubt reply, “Well, um… whatever.” As for the more eccentric styles, no man in his right mind would be shod dead in them.

So what does all this mean for the hundreds of thousands of pounding feet through the labyrinths of the subway? It doesn’t take a podiatrist to know that a poor choice of footwear can result in bunions, hammertoes, and other unsightly deformations. Not to mention damage to knee-joints over time due to increased stress on the tendon at the knee-cap.

And yet, our fascination with shoes remains. At lunch time today, I saw a well-dressed woman step out of the office in 4-inch pumps in gray nubuck leather with black heels, worn with a slim black skirt, opaque tights and a short belted gray coat. I slowed down to look (but not stare), wondering how far she could walk in those beautiful creations.

As it turned out, only far enough to slip into a waiting taxi parked at the curb.

Sensible, n’est ce pas?

Tagged as: footwear, shoes